Boston Marriage: Why Women Choose Non-Romantic Partnerships and What It Means for Society
Women are starting to choose each other as life partners, and this is not just a trendy fad but a profound social process with deep historical roots. In the 21st century, Ukrainian society is rediscovering the phenomenon known as the “Boston marriage.” If, in the 19th century, it was a way to survive in a harsh patriarchal world, today it is a conscious choice for women who are tired of emotional unavailability from men and seek partnership on equal terms.
Boston marriage is a historical term that appeared in New England (USA) at the end of the 19th century. It described the cohabitation of two women who managed a shared household, owned property together, and divided financial and daily responsibilities.
Notable examples include American writers Sarah Orne Jewett and Annie Fields, and the sociologist Elizabeth Shaw and Professor Katharine Lee Bates, the author of “America the Beautiful.”
At that time, women could not own property independently, lacked access to “male” professions, and were effectively dependent on marriage to a man. For many educated women, the only way to keep their independence and have space for self-realization was to join forces with another woman. Boston marriages were not always romantic or sexual: often, they were partnerships based on deep friendship, shared values, and mutual support.
As researcher Lillian Faderman notes, “this was how women carved out a place for themselves in a world that gave them no other options.” Some such couples openly called themselves “life partners” or “domestic family.”
Why Is Boston Marriage Coming Back Today?
The modern surge of interest in this format is not accidental. First, there is economic practicality: it is easier to pay rent together, run a household, and support each other in times of war, migration, or employment instability. Second, many women have accumulated disappointment with traditional relationships, which still tend to be dominated by patriarchy, emotional immaturity, or lack of support from male partners.
If in the past a woman had to marry for survival, today she is more likely to seek real support, understanding, and emotional comfort. On the other hand, modern society pushes the idea that romance is obligatory in any relationship although, in reality, the greatest happiness is often found in true friendship.
What Sociologists and Psychologists Say
In the English-speaking world, new terms are already emerging: platonic life partnership, queerplatonic relationships, “roommate marriage.” These are all modern interpretations of Boston marriage. In articles on Psychology Today, The Cut, and in Reddit threads, women openly discuss how they find in friendship what they never received in classical marriages.
Researchers note that among young people today (especially Generation Z), platonic partnership is an increasingly popular choice because it offers more freedom, avoids conforming to other people’s expectations, and allows them to focus on shared goals and values rather than just the romantic script.
“We live together to make rent cheaper, share the household, and support each other when we need it. It’s not so much about avoiding men as it is about wanting honest, equal relationships,” participants in such partnerships explain.
Why Does This Trend Annoy and Frighten Society?
Boston marriage still sparks waves of sarcasm and skepticism, especially among men. Some say that women are “inventing a new normal,” or that it is just a “cover for unwillingness to build a family.” In reality, society is afraid of losing control over the traditional female role. When a woman chooses another woman not a man it challenges deeply held assumptions about family, love, and even femininity.
The paradox is that for men, similar “unions” have existed for decades shared apartments, “bachelor pads,” living together without romance rarely cause a stir. But women who reject the traditional model instantly become the target of criticism, irony, or even condemnation.
Will This Become a Mass Phenomenon?
For now, “Boston marriage” is more of a trend in cities with high housing costs, among educated women, and those who value their freedom more than conformity to stereotypes. But if society continues to leave women alone with problems of emotional safety, support, and self-development, this format will only spread.
Perhaps in the future, partnership friendships will become a more common way of living together, especially if society learns to value other types of connection beyond romantic love.
Boston marriage is not a rejection of relationships or a protest against men. It is about the choice to stand by those who value and support you. It’s about having the courage to seek out new models of happiness in a world where the old ones no longer work.
Let’s be honest: every woman has the right to decide what matters most to her independence, friendship, or romance. The main thing is to be true to yourself. Maybe “Boston marriage” is just another reminder that true partnership is not about gender, but about mutual support.
And what do you think? Is our society ready for such changes? Share your thoughts in the comments.
Term explanations:
- Boston marriage: a partnership between two women who share a household, without necessarily being romantic or sexual.
- Platonic life partnership: a modern term for partner-like, non-romantic unions between people.
About the Author
Related posts:
Why Educated Women Are Leaving First: What Modern Divorces Reveal About Relationships Today 
Are Men Tired of Being Men? And Why Women Are Finally Free to Be Themselves 
The Problem with 50/50: Why “Equality” Often Works Against Women 
$2.5 Billion for Women: How the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Is Changing the Approach to Women’s Health
